I’m afraid to leave New York.
I’m afraid it will be too good some where else but I’ll always be a little bored
I’m afraid I will lose touch with the beat and the culture, afraid I will age.
I’m afraid that if I leave New York I will never come back
That I’ll never be able to come back
It feels like I’m on a sinking ship
and if I give up this piece of real estate wreckage that I’m clinging too
I’ll never find another that could support my weight
I’m to heavy now for this city
To loaded down with debt
too many emotions
too many streets are haunted now
ghosts of my past
of people and things that didn’t last
Maybe I could be happy some where else?
But what if somewhere else is full of the same kind of people I hate?
Only there’s less of them
And no Central Park in all seasons
No stage managing the Bowery
No snowed in mornings in the Met
New York is like an abusive boyfriend
He beats me but I just can’t seem to leave
He always gives me the sweetest kisses
And the harshest blows.
This is care of the Perkins Psych blog. if you’re going through a bad time remember it’s ok to feel shitty. It’s normal. It’s human. It’s how you deal with those feelings that matters. Avoid the green, shoot for the purple. Ask for help and if you don’t get it the first or the fifth time keep asking. There are people in the world that will help you, they can be hard to find sometimes but they are real. Keep going. Things will change. Trust yourself to survive your troubles.
Depression is hard to explain. Not the concept but what it’s actually like when you just cant. I seek out comics about depression partially because when I’m down in the pit they’re about all I can read but also because comics are uniquely able to capture what enui feel like.
Jane Mai’s Sorry I Can’t Come in on Monday I’m Really Really Sick, is a mini comic that captures fully every mental health day I’ve ever taken. It’s a handful of pages that touches on everything from suicide, abuse, self harm and the banality of having only the internet to keep you company on those days when you’re not sick but you still need help.
The art and the words are spares but this is truly a case of less is more. It allows readers to fill in the blanks with their own experiance. It shows how universal but also deeply personal mental illness is.
Mai’s mini comic is avaliable at Bergen Comics for all my local reader but also online at Jane Mai’s Garbage site. If you have a spare three dollars this book is a Band aide for your soul.